THE FIFTH FACE OF STRUGGLE: CHILDHOOD WOUNDS
Let’s face it, earth is not for the weak hearted and most of us have experienced childhood wounds. Every human being is destined to experience emotional pain that they will more than likely attempt to bury and stuff away in some way or another. As I often tell my children and grandchildren – be kind to others because you never know the hidden wounds another is carrying. Once we understand that everyone carries buried pain the questions then become, what is the nature of the buried pain and how can we release it so that real healing can occur?
One of the first steps in understanding buried pain is to develop an understanding of the effect childhood experiences have on us, especially our in-utero and early childhood experiences. Numerous studies have drawn a direct link between early childhood trauma and impaired physical and emotional health, with many pointing to such trauma as the root cause of serious emotional and physical issues later in life. Sadly, all too often individuals never become free of such pain – this does not have to be the case.
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart – Jeremiah 29:11-13 (RSVCE)
Research indicates that the physical, emotional and spiritual environment an unborn child experiences leaves lifelong marks on the child – for good and for bad. This is not surprising given that fact that we can be profoundly affected when a loved one is experiencing a strong emotion. When considering an unborn child’s experiences we must also take into consideration the intimate sharing of not only emotions, but the intimate sharing of bio-chemicals including hormones that produce stress (or peace). In today’s modern world we are seeing babies born into the world with stressed adrenals because mom was stressed beyond her capacity during the pregnancy. In light of this it is helpful to understand that the best gift we can give an unborn child is a happy and healthy mother. However, society must change before this can happen on a large scale. By bringing forth forgiveness and acceptance into our lives, and the lives of our families, we begin to support a transformation that will in return support the lives of the generations that follow.
It is well documented that unborn children experience a variety of experiences in their physical, emotional and spiritual bodies. These experiences eventually lead to the formation of emotions that are then carried into their adult life. When the experiences are positive the child looks at the world through the lens of goodness, hope, joy and love. However, when the unborn experiences wounding emotions she (he) will eventually see the world through the lens of fear, betrayal, anger and hopelessness. An awareness and understanding of these experiences is necessary if we are to find a way to effectively deal with buried pains. Once we develop an understanding of the all too common wounding experiences we can then begin to find a way to effectively address the pain and support healing.
Some significant and common in-utero experiences include:
- Conception out of wedlock, adultery or conception in a drug-dependent relationship
- A father’s rejection towards the mother or the child
- Prior miscarriages or abortions of the mother
- Being conceived at the “wrong time” (marital problems, poverty, etc.)
- Being the wrong sex
- A mother who experiences intense emotions
- A difficult birth
- Adoption – or considered adoption
Each of these situations tend to set into motion their unique set of limiting beliefs in the developing child’s subconscious and, given that studies reveal that 95% of our behavior stems from our subconscious mind, this must be dealt with if a child is to experience happiness and fulfillment in life. Unfortunately, all of the above are very real and present in our world today. They each leave an imprint on a child that can last a lifetime, possibly resulting in wrong self-perception, health issues and, worse, self-destructive behavior. However real healing can happen when the truth is revealed. The truth that God knew each and every one of us before he formed us in our mother’s womb and that he has plans for our lives – plans for our good and plans of prosperity.
It is important to develop an understanding that none of the above mentioned circumstances have the power to separate an individual from the happiness available to them; however, forgiveness and acceptance must be utilized before transformation can occur.
Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee: All thing pass; God never changes. Patience attains All that it strives for. He who has God Finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices. – Saint Teresa of Avila –